Invest - Four Ways To Be A Better Friend at Dear Ash

Four Ways To Be A Better Friend

Being a friend to someone is truly a gift. And the good news is that everyone has the ability to be one. You can be a blessing to anyone at anytime.

Four Ways To Be A Better Friend at The Honey Scoop

Many of us develop selfish thinking and focus on the thought, who is treating me well? We look at ourselves and what we need rather than casting our eyes on the needs of others. Thinking this way, however, will leave you discontented and with a lack of meaningful relationships.

The key to friendship isn’t to focus on who is being a good friend to you. Instead, true selflessness is found when you focus on how you can be a good friend to others. After time spent with friends, we need to shift our thinking from: how did they meet my needs? How did they make me happy? What did they do for me? to: Did I love them the way they most feel loved? How did I encourage them? How did I uplift them? This change of mindset will surely make the world, and your relationships, a better place.

It’s easy to get confused on what a good friend looks like. I know I screw up all of the time on loving people the way they should be loved. But being a loyal and wonderful blessing is only a few steps away, with a few steps of guidance.

1. Invest, invest, invest!

Four Ways To Be A Better Friend at Dear Ash

One of the most important qualities of a good friend is how much time you invest in the relationship. Do you encourage your friend and inspire her to be the woman God made her to be, ask about her life, or remember the important things she tells you? Are you helping her up when she falls and rejoicing with her when she flourishes?

These are all key factors of a good friend. A friend needs to love as they would want to be loved. I am sure we all want to have people ask about our lives, encourage us continually, and grab us our favorite order of Chinese food when we have failed an exam. So if we would like to be treated this way, it’s only necessary we should treat our sisters the same.

You should always value others above yourself. Even though it can be incredibly uncomfortable, this mindset will positively impact those around you.

2. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

Love People Where They Are At - Four Ways To Be A Better Friend at Dear Ash

Talking about life with some yummy, deliciously unhealthy Mexican food. What could be better?!

Something that bothers me is when people tell me they feel they need to look cute when they’re with me. The last thing I want my friends to believe is they have to put on a face when they are with me. I want my friends to feel they can be with me just as they are: in sweats, puffy eyes, bun and everything.

We need to focus on being more vulnerable with friends so they can be more vulnerable. Even to cry and open up about things that are tough to make the other person feel safe and comfortable to do the same. True friendship is about being real, so let your walls down and let people in.

3. Don’t be afraid to be “too much”

Don't Be Afraid Of Being "Too Much" - Four Ways To Be A Better Friend at Dear Ash

Some of us are terrified of going first. After just finishing my first year of college, I can recall plenty of times when I did not have the motivation to reach out to someone I recently met and saw friendship potential in.

Instead of being a slave to the fear of being rejected, I decided to reach out anyway. Better to go first and have it not work out, than to never try and always wonder what-if. Plus, the worst thing that can happen is they say no, and you move on to someone else and that relationship can grow instead.

Additionally, if you worry you’ll be “too much” if you want to bring your friend soup when she’s sick, or buy her a smoothie just because you know she loves them, or show up knocking on her dorm room when you know she is going through a tough time, think again. You might be on the fence about it, but do these things anyway. Chances are, even if this person thinks you’re a weirdo at the time, she will appreciate it eventually. And when she sees someone who is struggling, and feels the need to love them unconditionally, she’ll remember how much your love and actions meant to her. A little kindness goes a long, long way.

4. Love people where they are at

Invest - Four Ways To Be A Better Friend at Dear Ash

I struggle with holding unreachable expectations for the people in my life, and it shows my area of perfectionism. I try to imagine how everything should be in my life and how certain people should act and behave. But I am at fault for thinking I can control everything. We will never, ever be perfect human beings. Instead, we will grow together to be better versions of ourselves, and this is a beautiful aspect of friendship.

To turn away from being a friend to someone because you don’t approve of their lifestyle is hate, people. This is selfish and prideful thinking.

Instead, choose to believe that every single person is in your life for a reason. And you aren’t called to rescue them or change them, but to love them. Right where they are at.

It’s safe to say being a loving friend is not always easy, but it is one of the greatest gifts you can give to the world. No matter if it’s your family member, coworker, or bestie from preschool, you can always be a friend to somebody else.

Go and be a blessing, ladies.

Xoxo,

Ash

May 29, 2017

Lifestyle, Relationships

  1. Carolann

    May 29th, 2017 at 6:47 PM

    This really defines the perfect way to be a better friend. Many of us are afraid to let ourselves be vulnerable and I think you have to in order to have an open and close relationship. Thanks for this list. It’s a great reminder!

  2. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:24 PM

    Thank you, Carolann! Vulnerability is the recipe for true and honest relationships 🙂 hugs and love xox

  3. Bailie

    May 29th, 2017 at 8:21 PM

    Great advice! I always have a hard time reaching out to friends I miss because Life gets crazy! Good reminder, thanks for sharing <3

  4. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:22 PM

    Thanks so much, Bailie! Yes, life is a crazy rollercoaster, but we need those friendships to keep us going 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  5. Kylie Kreischer

    May 29th, 2017 at 10:10 PM

    This is precious! I love this so much. You seem like SUCH a sweet girl and an amazing friend! Thanks for sharing this with us!

    XO, Kylie
    http://www.littlelooksbigpictures.com

  6. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:21 PM

    Thank you so much, sweet girl! (not to sound like a creep or anything) but I looked at your blog and found you are a KAO alum, and I am a Theta as well! faith hope & love forever!! TLAM, Ash 🙂

  7. Amy Blake

    May 30th, 2017 at 9:22 AM

    Such a great piece. I know myself it’s so much harder to be a great friend now that I have two little kids. This is such a great reminder. Thanks!

  8. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:18 PM

    Thanks for reading, Amy! No matter what life stage you are in, you can always be a friend to someone else. Blessings xox

  9. Elena

    May 30th, 2017 at 10:15 AM

    Me and my best friend are so different but so similar at the same way. She is the person I go to every time I need advice or someone to listen to me.

  10. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:17 PM

    I was talking with a friend today about how having things in common help in a friendship, but they don’t make it or break it. What shines through most in a working friendship is characteristics, like one being kind and full of encouragement. And your friendship with your bff is such an example of this! Hugs xox

  11. Kristen

    May 30th, 2017 at 1:44 PM

    Love this!!! Good friendship is so important and I think we’re all quick to forget about working to be better friends to each other! Very well written 🙂

  12. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:15 PM

    Thanks so much, Kristen! I find when we get self centered about friendship, that’s a clear sign we have to remind ourselves of what friendship should be all about! Hugs and love xox

  13. Leah Grace

    May 30th, 2017 at 1:50 PM

    This is AWESOME! It is so true, real deep friendships that are worth having but they take time, effort, and love. Investing in a friendship is so worth it . I’ve feared that I was being “too much” or even had doubts as to whether someone else was putting in as much effort then I realized it didn’t matter. I was called to love on them. Now, I have the greatest group of friends ever! Love this post, girl. Keep it up ????

  14. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:14 PM

    Thanks so much for your wise words, Leah! Your experience is such evidence of how love truly conquers all. Hugs and love xox

  15. Dianne Salonga

    May 31st, 2017 at 7:16 AM

    Awesome post pretty girl. Having a friend is treasure but to have a friend like so dear to you is a gift. Not all friends are there if you need them. Cheers

  16. [email protected]

    May 31st, 2017 at 2:10 PM

    Yes, I totally agree with you Dianne! A true friend is a gift and should never be taken for granted. Hugs and love xox

  17. Brittnee

    May 31st, 2017 at 3:10 PM

    Great advice! I’m just now learning to give up being selfish and invest in people. This is helpful!!

  18. [email protected]

    June 2nd, 2017 at 12:53 AM

    Thanks Brittnee! It’s funny how we can get so clouded and fall into selfish traps, but we should be grateful we are recognizing the problem. The first step to fixing something is acknowledging it’s there! Hugs and love xox

  19. Lorene Wagner

    June 5th, 2017 at 11:10 AM

    Love this! Good advice on investing in friendship!

  20. [email protected]

    June 5th, 2017 at 12:10 PM

    Thank you!!

Join the Hive!

Get plugged into our free Christian community.

join the hive