You’re probably reading this title and thinking of Tim McGraw’s song “Humble and Kind”. And if you have never heard of this song before, I highly recommend you look it up and listen. This song has an incredible message. And if you are wondering, yes I did steal a lyric from Tim’s song for blog post inspo.
It is no surprise that everyone gets hurt by someone. But when that pain comes from someone who you are really close with, the sting can be incredibly hard to bear. Whether this is a friend, or a spouse, or a family member- this pain can be devastating.
Maybe you got in a fight with your best friend and you two aren’t best friends anymore. Maybe you got hurt by someone who you felt you were close with, finding out that they were saying some awful things about you behind your back. Maybe you and your ex-boyfriend ended on really bad terms. Perhaps he even cheated on you and you can’t seem to get past it. Or one of your family members said something that really hurt you, and you haven’t gotten over it. All of these scenarios have one thing in common- they can leave you bitter.
We all get angry and we feel resentment when we get hurt. This is part of us being humans! But when we let that anger turn to bitterness- we are only hurting ourselves.
Surprisingly enough, bitterness is actually unhealthy for you, leaving you physically sick. Professor Wrosch (quoted from the Daily Mail) explains, “When (bitterness) is harbored for a long time, it may forecast patterns of biological dysregulation (a physiological impairment that can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function) and physical disease.” (Daily Mail)
When it might feel good temporarily to get angry and to let our pride take over our hearts (by either gossiping, dwelling on it, or plotting revenge), it never makes us feel good for long. We always end up feeling on edge. Bitterness chews and swallows any sense of peace left inside of us. We can never achieve real contentment if we are still holding a grudge against someone. It just isn’t possible. Have you been bitter for longer than you can imagine and you want peace? The only answer to your problem is one simple word.
That word is forgiveness.
How do we forgive? Let go of your hurt and anger. Come to terms with what happened in the situation. Was the person who hurt you going through something that caused to treat you unfairly? Sometimes, when others hurt us, it says a lot more about them than us. Let go of the revenge you wish to hold against this person. Try to understand what happened. Forgiveness doesn’t have to be formal where you talk with the person and literally say “I forgive you”, but you can internally forgive this person.
This doesn’t mean that you should trust this person again or forget about everything that has happened. It means that you come to the conclusion that you need to let go of this hurt, and move forward with your life. You need to start looking positively towards your future instead of resenting the past.
Letting go of this hurt and anger will not only give you peace, but it will make you so much happier with your life. Mayo Clinic writes that some of the benefits of forgiveness are “less anxiety, fewer symptoms of depression, healthier relationships, and even improved heart health”.
So if that boy cheated on you, come to terms with it and understand what you want with your next boyfriend. Take this experience as a learning experience and use it to improve your relationships in the future. Don’t let this jerk steal your happiness from you. Take control of what you can control, and move on to the playing field with a joyful smile on your pretty face.
If that friend went behind your back and hurt you, try to understand why this might have happened. Understand that you are not the problem, and don’t let this keep you from getting close with new friends in the future. You are awesome and you cannot let others make you feel like you aren’t. Let go of this hurt and love this person when you see them, but by no means do you have to be BFF’s again. Learn from the relationship and be grateful it happened, because it made you who you are today. Just because the friendship didn’t work out with this person, doesn’t mean it won’t work out with every single other person in this world. When you dwell on a friendship that didn’t work out, you are failing to recognize the opportunities for great friendships in the future.
Either if it’s someone who’s in your family, or an ex-boyfriend, or a best friend, don’t let the bitterness get the best of you. Let go of the grudges, let go of the hurt. Yes, this is easier said than done, but your health depends on this. You deserve to have peace. You deserve to be free.
The bad relationships you can be grateful for, because they have made the fabulous person you are today. The future is bright, my friend.
Xoxo,
Ash
