Because you are worth more.

It is safe to say that some guys are plain old jerks. However, since they can be so easy on the eyes and so sly with their words, their true colors don’t always show so easily.

You might meet this kind of guy at a party and he gives you a certain amount of attention that leaves you wanting more. But then after you guys hook up, you are surprised that he does not contact you. This then leads you to text him, which is always an awful idea. You realize that he has used you.

Or maybe it is the other way, where it isn’t just one night but a full blown fling. You think you eventually are going to meet his family and best friends and get married. But little do you know, you are getting tricked.

If you are gasping at the sound of that, let me just take the time to tell you what I heard behind me in Psychology class the other day. I was just shuffling through flash cards when I heard a “Bro, you know that girl I hooked up with last weekend?”, and I then had to shift my focus from studying to eavesdropping. You can’t blame me.

His bro-friend responding by saying “Oh. Yeah. What happened?”, to which he shot back with “She texted me today. I mean man, after three days I thought she would get the hint. She said “Hey, I don’t want to sound like a b*tch or anything but it seems like you used me. You haven’t even texted me once and I just don’t even understand what happened.”

“Noooooo way bro. She didn’t!!”

“Yes bro. And then I responded, ‘Listen, I am not really interested in anything serious right now.’ and then she responded, ‘Okay, thanks for giving me a reason.’ ”

“Man, maybe she just thought you were shy.”

“No, no. Some girls just mistake my flirtatious nature as me actually being into them. I just can’t help it.”

I rolled my eyes. I was angry but also really glad I listened in because it sparked something I need to be real about.

This girl he screwed over probably felt awful about herself after that. And readers, I don’t want you or this girl (whoever she is) to take this crap from any guy ever again. You are worth so much more than that.

The key to avoiding this situation is to recognize the signs. Lucky for us, guys are very easy to figure out. So with the right things to look out for, you’ll be able to know his intentions.

If you are concerned that you are getting used right now, get a full grasp on the signs to watch out for. You do not deserve anything less than the very best and you deserve to be respected. However, it starts with you respecting yourself first.

Read more to recognize the warning signs so you can be on your way to healthy, loving relationship.

1. His Definition Of A Date Is A Movie Night Past 12am.

Does he ever take the time to ask you on a real date? Normally, when a guy is using a girl, he is only interested in her at night. If he just reaches out to you when the sun goes down this is a sure sign that he just wants to hook up with you. And if this is the case, that is bull-crap, because you deserve a five star dinner.

2. If You Do Go Somewhere, He Never Pays For You

He always tells you he will pay next time and that he is just out of money at the moment. Really, he just doesn’t want to waste his money on someone he is not planning on being with long term.

3. All plans are last minute

He always reaches out to you when he has nothing else to do. He never plans things for you to do together days in advance, but rather just wants to be with you when he has some last minute free time. And mind you, these plans will take place at night as well.

4. He never asks you about your personal life

He is only interested in having shallow conversations with no depth. He doesn’t want to get relationship-y, so that is why you will not hear about his family or friends.

5. He avoids you in public

Whenever he is with his friends or family, he never acknowledges you. And if he does, it only goes as far as a head nod.

6. You always are the one to initiate conversation

He never reaches out to you to ask how you are doing unless it is to hookup. If you are the only one who wants to know how his day is going, this is a sure sign that he is not taking you seriously.

7. He flirts with other girls (even in front of you)

If he does this, then this is a sure sign he has no interest of being in a closed relationship. Even worse is if he flirts with your friends, which means he is definitely not interested in dating you. A man who is using a girl is always on the lookout for his next catch.

If you recognize the signs with your current relationship, it is perfectly okay to be angry. You should be! You are being treated poorly and you do not deserve this on any circumstances.

Cry for a good ten minutes (or more if you need it. I usually only limit myself to a weekend or two after heartbreak) and move on. Do not text him back when he texts you, do not acknowledge him when you see him. This stings, I know. But I would not be doing you a favor by failing to be honest with you. Reader, I want you to have your prince charming.

But you certainly won’t be with your prince charming while stuck with this guy.

Get the heck away from him and learn to respect yourself. You are worth it, you are worth dating, you are worth taking home to meet the parents, you are worth getting to know, you are worth buying flowers for.

All it takes is for you to believe it.

Xoxo,

Ash