Let’s face it, breakups suck. They really do. If you are reading this and you just got out of a relationship, whether it was your will or the other party’s, it still stings the same. And whether you were dating for 4 years or 4 months, the pain is will still linger. And sister, you need a friend to help you get through it.

I want to be that friend to you that will tell you it’s all going to be okay. And since I love you, I also want to help you get out of the breakup hole, which can be dark and scary and look like there is no way out.

Getting through a breakup can be hard, but you can do it. I believe in you. This experience, no matter how hard it feels, will make you so much better in the long run. It will teach you things and give you the freedom to find the one who will be much better for you.

I’ve been through my fair share of breakups, and none of them were easy to get through. Texting someone every day, being with them all of the time, sharing so much with that person, and then having this person all of a sudden be gone is hard to swallow. This breakup can do some serious damage if you don’t work at getting to the other side of the tunnel with a smile that no boy can take away from you.

So sister, since I care for you so much, I want to help you get through this dark time. There’s many things you can do to get through this, and I want to walk through these remedies with you. This breakup is no match for you, and your security and joy are worth gaining back.

1. Be Sad

You’re probably thinking, what? Everyone has told me to be positive. And yes, positivity is good. That’s necessary, but at its time. You are supposed to feel bad right now, because if you don’t mourn this loss, it will be buried deep down in your heart and cause you to be sad down the road. You have to let the tears flow. And don’t feel guilty, I am encouraging you to do this because I know you need this.

Go grab your Ben and Jerry’s Double Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, throw your hair in a bun, listen to the songs that make you think of the relationship, listen to Adele, look at old pictures, and cry your friggin’ heart out. And just so you don’t go overboard, make sure this time is only limited to a weekend. And don’t feel guilty for this time, because you have to let yourself feel feelings! You are a human, not wonder woman (even though we all want to be her, it’s just not reality).

And since you’ve got all your grieving over with, when the tears come back in the future, you don’t have to cry nearly as hard. You will know deep down you got the real tears out this dreary weekend, and your body got what it needed.

2. Take Care Of Yourself

This is the time where you put your health first. When you’re turning off the sad music and cleaning the two-day old mascara off your face, you can pull out a sheet of paper and remind yourself why this breakup needed to end. Write down the stress it gave you, or why it is a good thing that you are not together anymore. When you miss him, you can read this paper for clarity. Sometimes our feelings shouldn’t always be trusted, and this paper contains the truth you need.

I also recommend for you to cut off all communication with this guy for at least six months. That means unfollowing him on social media, and deleting his number. This way, you won’t be tempted to get back together with him, which will make the pot even messier.

As well as this, throw on a face mask. Sweat a little by running out your frustration. You can also dive into an inspirational book for clarity. A few books that come to mind are:

•  Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You – This book has gotten incredible reviews from people who got through their breakup with this book cheering them on and supplying insight they needed.
• The Bible – Whether you are a Christian or not, there is some good truth in this book. There’s a reason it’s the best-selling book of all time, because there is some good quality wisdom in here. There is comfort in this book that anyone can hold on to during a season of grief. Also, this version is set for creative journaling, if you’re into typography and all-things-cuteness.
• Eat, Pray, Love – This book takes the reader on a journey of recovering from a messy divorce. The author finds solace and understanding through traveling to around the world. You will find peace in the fact that you’re not alone in your struggle, and that her story ends positively (And your story, my dear, will end victoriously too!)

3. Get Out There

I think trying new things and living life to the fullest is a great way to get your mind off the breakup and focus on living a life well lived. This means going out to dinner with your besties, going to the gym regularly, and meeting other people. It’s also a great time to get more involved at the church you go to, or even to offer to help serve at any organization you are passionate about. Have you always wanted to do something, but never had the time or motivation to do so? Now is the time to pursue that goal. Keeping yourself busy is a great way to keep you from sulking over the past and to work towards your very bright future.

4. Be Your Best Self

Your breakup is not the end of your world. This breakup isn’t going to kill you, even if you believe it is. To smile again, and to feel the joy you once felt, it’s time to get your life back. Focus on looking your best (take time to do your hair and makeup, and pull out a dress or two) because when you look good, you feel good, and then you do good. Love the people around you well. Put effort into building your best life, and don’t feel bad that your ex is not in it. The relationship wasn’t meant to be, and this is a good thing, because you’re further along the road of a life well-lived.

Also, be careful to not jump to conclusions about all men. Truthfully, there are some amazing men out there, and it’s my prayer for you that you find one. But even if you don’t, it is still good. You don’t need a man to be happy, serve others the best you can, and to make an impact on earth.

Know that I’m praying for you, girl. You can do this. With the support of family, friends, the Lord above, and good books, you can just about conquer anything in life. This time will past and make you stronger than ever.

What advice would you give to someone going through a breakup? Mention in the comments below!