Recently, I’ve felt a little out of place. I am finding more so how much I don’t fit a mold that so many do: frequent going-outers, gossipers, and maybe act like certain people in their presence don’t exist. Those who only choose to hang out with certain people, for fear that if they didn’t, they would be less. They probably are super relaxed all the time.

This, friends, is what society likes to call “cool”.

And you know what? I don’t know about you, but I just might be the opposite of cool. I’m usually the first to talk to someone I don’t know, no matter if they are going to bring up my social status. I try to steer from talking crap about others, because this almost always leads to broken friend groups. I go out probably once a week, and the other late nights are spent curled up in my bed with a good book.

But this lifestyle isn’t always appreciated, and kindness is not always celebrated. If you are being different from the norm, you’re taking a risk. For some people, if you don’t dress/act/do in a certain way, then you just aren’t good enough. You’re looked down upon for smiling at others, which doesn’t really make much sense.

But you know where cool gets you? Cool gets you to a low self esteem (believe it or not) and no life-giving relationships. Cool is safe and empty.

I think we need to understand, and I need to understand, that being kind will not make you liked by everyone. When you choose to embrace people, and you choose to be different, you’re not always going to fit in. And we shouldn’t expect to because that would be ridiculous. If we were only kind to others because we wanted to be liked, how authentic would that be?

Believe it or not, you’re allowed to be different and you’re allowed to smile. Never ever get rid of your kindness to fit in, because kindness will be so much more worth it than a resting bitch face ever will. It will illuminate a dreary room and maybe even turn somebody’s crappy day around.

If you want to fit in with the crowd, consider being mean to others. Never stand for anything, always be “chill”, and never show excitement about anything unique. Most certainly not. Don’t be surprised when you find yourself gravely unhappy because you have no one you can truly rely on, and you feel an aching sense that you aren’t being yourself. That’s the real “you”, hidden deep down but is kicking and screaming its way to the surface to bless the world in its incomparable way. You need to keep pushing that feeling down, you need to hide.

But is this what you want?

This is not only a matter of choosing kind, but also of choosing authenticity. Of being real. Of not shapeshifting into the people you’re with.

“Unless we stand for something, we will fall for anything.” – Peter Marshall

Lemme tell you, I’ve been down this road years ago. I did what everyone deemed as “normal” because I wanted to fit in. But you know what? I’m not “normal”, and I never ever will be. Neither are you. We were all created to be different, to give our distinct gifts to make the world a better place. How is anyone ever going to be impacted if you’re the same as everyone else?

I dare you to be different (in the least cliche way possible). I dare you to write, speak, teach, engineer, love, create, and think in all the unique ways God has designed you to. It might sound scary, because it is. But when you take the leap of faith, you will find an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort that you haven’t felt since you were young and didn’t know how it felt to be rejected.

People won’t remember the cold person. They will remember the one who opened their arms wide and said “you belong”. Like Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Xoxo,

Ash

Have you ever been looked down on for being kind? Comment below!