Galatians 1:10
Everyone wants to be accepted.
We like to feel loved, valued, and one-of-a-kind. We crave this so much to the point where we live everyday to feel approval from other people. But after a whole day of trying to have others like us, we only feel worse. Instead of feeling whole and happy with ourselves, we just end up feeling more insecure, at a loss for where true fulfillment is found.
I am one who struggles with this. The approval addiction, the people pleasing. I think this is something I have always struggled with. I used to base myself on what others thought of me, and I would even go to the extent of changing who I was so the other person would like me.
Yuck. I wish I never thought that was the way to find life and happiness. None of this fulfilled any deep longing inside of me. Nothing filled the God-shaped hole in my heart. It all led me to a dead end- to more insecurities, to more let downs, to more issues regarding who I saw myself as.
The problem with this is that I was failing to look to the real Truth, the Truth that actually matters.
If you can look at my situation and relate, I hope you can understand that this fake idol we put in our lives will never ever fulfill. The only thing that will ever fulfill you and secure your identity is Jesus’s opinion of you.
No other person will ever love you as much as you need to be loved, no other person will be there for you whenever you need someone, and no other person will care for you whenever you need to be cared for. You cannot expect somebody else to take on that big of a role. Only God can be worthy of that position in your life.
If you are looking at this article and going “Who’s Jesus?” I would love to write something for you on here to help you start a relationship with Him. Jesus is the only answer to this disease because he will break these people-pleasing chains and he will lead you to a life of peace.
When we live for others, we fail to live out the life that God has prepared for us. He has plans for you and he wishes to fulfill them, but if you are so caught up in the opinions of others, these plans will take a halt. You will constantly shape your day to day life on how you can get people to like you, and that is a miserable way to live. It is also a very self-centered way to live. By living this way, you will only make yourself feel more rejected and alone.
But fear not! You have the power to break free from this.
You were not meant to live for people’s approval. You will never be able to please everybody, just as God is not able to please everybody. Some people get snow when they don’t want snow, some people get rain on their graduation parties. You get the picture.
Instead of emptying yourself dry and reaching a dead end in your spiritual life, look to God for your identity.
You were born to live for an audience of One.
When we start to think like this, everything changes. We become less anxious and worried because pleasing God is much less draining than pleasing human beings. Pleasing God will break that fear inside of you of not being liked by everybody because God loves you perfectly. When God sees you he sees Jesus, and what is not to like about that? And God absolutely loves to see when we are trying to please Him. He just goes nuts up there, because he is nuts for us.
God chose you (John 15:16). He delights in you (Zephaniah 3:17). He made you in His image (Genesis 1:27). You are fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14)
One of my favorite verses in clinging to identity in Christ.
No matter who has made you feel like crap, no matter who has made you feel abandoned, no matter how many times you have felt left out, God has always had a place for you. You just didn’t pay any attention to it and you ignored the truth. He will never leave you or forsake you, and that is a promise.
Learning to please God is a process, and it will require continual practice. You have to train your brain to know that you are meant to live for only One person, when you naturally want to please everyone in the room. But with trial and error and reminding yourself truth, you are sure to become a pro at this.
And you are not on your own in this. I believe God will help you along the way, whispering to you all of the wonderful things he thinks about you.
Focus on what matters, because in light of eternity, the only opinion that will matter is God’s. Don’t drive yourself crazy by trying to be perfect, because you are already perfect in Christ.
Xoxo,
Ash
